A Mother Knows She Has Boys When…
By Paula Schmitt, The All Sports Mom
As a mom there is life B.B. (before boys) and then there is life A.B. (after boys). I question any mother’s sanity should she decide to continue onward for that junior basketball team of five. I know all too well what it is like to raise boys. I have four and quickly stopped there as I pondered the consequences of my future. Not a pretty picture.
A mother knows she has boys when…
The walls and accessories in each of the rooms of the house are shades of blue;
She gets a shower of gold upon every diaper change;
She finds that her home and the surrounding yard of said home are decorated with every sports ball imaginable;
She begins to imitate the sounds of toys to family and friends daily, i.e, toot-toot and vroom- vroom;
The television set only knows Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine;
Frogs and lizards become indoor pets, naturally;
The walls in the house have dirty handprints throughout (so artistic);
She enjoys the karate chop of her favorite action figure come playtime;
During holiday season shopping her cart is filled with Hot Wheels, G.I. Joes and Nerf balls;
Doing laundry she discovers pockets filled with rocks and dirt;
Everyday when her children come home from school and when asking them what was the highlight of their day they respond, GYM;
There is a constant stale odor lingering in the air (you know, farts are funny);
The permanent position of all toilet seats throughout the house is UP;
She can no longer see the blue paint of her children’s bedroom walls since sports posters have covered every square inch of wall space;
She grocery shops every week and the food magically disappears within a couple of days;
All her children’s clothing features the word NIKE;
She is off at a sports event 365 days of the year;
She’s on a first name basis with the staff at the emergency room;
The teenage girls are swarming the house like bees on honey;
She thanks God for those boys every night.
About Our Writer
Paula Schmitt, author of Living In A Locker Room: A Mom's Tale Of Survival In A Houseful Of Boys, has been published in hundreds of publications. She has appeared on numerous radio talk shows and in print publications such as American Baby magazine, Adoption Today magazine, Adopting for Tomorrow magazine, The Chicago Tribune, Kids VT Family Newspaper and many others. She is the Founder and CEO of Mom Writer's Productions, LLC, Founder and Editor of The Mom Writer's Literary magazine (2005) - "A literary magazine for mom writers who have something to say", and Founder and Executive Producer of her radio talk show, Mom Writer's Talk Radio which is to launch this coming fall of 2005. When she isn't writing, editing, or taxiing her children to their sport events, she prefers to spend quality time in central Vermont with her husband and five children. To read more of her columns visit www.paulaschmitt.comComments
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September 8th, 2009 10:55 am
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