It’s A Guy Thing

Written by Paula Schmitt

February 2, 2009: Is it alive?By Paula Schmitt

My husband is as blind as a bat. OK, ok, not really, but when it comes to seeing things or finding things that are literally smack in front of him, well, then yes, he should be hanging upside down in a cave somewhere.

My boys think it’s hilarious and they get a big kick out of it. But the scary part is that my four sons are their father. I can see them following in his footsteps already. It is, quite simply, terrifying, a blind Twilight Zone if you will.

I present for your approval.

The boys and I are in the breakfast room getting ready to eat and my husband enters the kitchen. He notices that we are having hamburgers for dinner and that there is no pickle relish out on the table. He goes to the fridge, bends way over, shoves his nose deep inside looking all around, checks out all the side compartments, then beginning to look a bit panicky, he shuffles from foot to foot saying, “Hmmmm”. The boys and I stop and watch him, knowing what’s coming next.

Sure enough, as predicted, my wonderful husband turns to us and asks, “Anyone seen the pickle relish?”

It never fails.

I walk over to the fridge, reach in and without even looking, pull out the damn pickle relish. Blind as a bat I tell you.

Another typical scene. After our hungry family is all seated and gathered round the dinner table, we say grace and give thanks for this wonderful meal before us. Not a minute into our feast, I notice my husband’s scouring eyes. (Here we go again.) I decide to offer up some assistance before his meal gets cold.

“Uh, what were you looking for, sweetheart?”, I asked as the boys all turned to look at dear old dad.

“Has anyone seen my glasses? I know I put them right here on the table.” He responds, and then scratches his head only to find the missing item.

Case solved.

I think it’s a guy thing.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Mr.Thomas


About Our Writer

 Paula Schmitt, author of Living In A Locker Room: A Mom's Tale Of Survival In A Houseful Of Boys, has been published in hundreds of publications. She has appeared on numerous radio talk shows and in print publications such as American Baby magazine, Adoption Today magazine, Adopting for Tomorrow magazine, The Chicago Tribune, Kids VT Family Newspaper and many others. She is the Founder and CEO of Mom Writer's Productions, LLC, Founder and Editor of The Mom Writer's Literary magazine (2005) - "A literary magazine for mom writers who have something to say", and Founder and Executive Producer of her radio talk show, Mom Writer's Talk Radio which is to launch this coming fall of 2005. When she isn't writing, editing, or taxiing her children to their sport events, she prefers to spend quality time in central Vermont with her husband and five children. To read more of her columns visit www.paulaschmitt.com


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