Squash Mommy Guilt for Good!
Mommy guilt. We’ve all felt it. Working moms feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children. Stay-at-home moms feel guilty for not contributing to the household income. As a matter of fact, I’m feeling a little guilty right now as my son sits in the living room watching a Baby Einstein video as I write this. We, as women, are programmed to nurture others and to feel the need to do it all. It’s wonderful to be nurturing and caring, but we must be realistic in our own expectations in order to be at peace with ourselves as mothers.
Oprah’s often been heard to say, “Being a mother is the hardest job in the world.” See, even she realizes it, and her only “children” are dogs! So why do we feel that we have to do the most difficult job in the world perfectly? Being a mom can be stressful and, at times, all-consuming. Sometimes we need a break!
It’s okay to not absolutely LOVE every part of being a mom. We’re human. Cut yourself some slack if your kids’ constant fighting is driving you crazy and you want to scream. It’s natural to feel frazzled. When you start to feel the guilt rising, remind yourself to let it go. Then you can focus on redirecting the kids and sneaking off with a cup of coffee and a magazine for a few minutes.
Yes, it’s even all right to enjoy spending time AWAY from your kids. Time on your own lets you to come back to your children refreshed and rejuvenated, allowing you to be more loving. Cranky, stress-out moms are not performing at their peak. Don’t hesitate to give yourself a little break once in a while. In fact, it’s good for kids to spend some alone time to learn and to grow.
Realize that nobody’s perfect and avoid comparisons. We’re often prone to thinking others have things so much better than we do. Outside appearances can often be deceiving. Accept yourself and your family’s situation with a sense of gratitude, and soon you’ll be feeling less guilt and getting far more enjoyment out of life.
It’s so important to practice letting go of the guilt. It won’t happen overnight, but if you remember to stop yourself when you feel those mean guilty feelings coming on, you’ll soon learn to think differently. Changing your thoughts will lead to improving the way you feel about yourself. A mom who feels good about herself is always a better mom. By the way, my little guy’s still watching Baby Einstein. And he’s squealing with delight at the colorful, spinning top he sees. Why should I feel guilty about that?
January 5th, 2010 12:03 pm
Mary, I love this article. Can I share this with my moms at mom-stuff.com Thanks, Dianne
January 16th, 2010 1:35 am
Absolutely, Dianne! I’m glad you like the article, and I think your site sounds fabulous – off to take a look. 🙂