By Paula Schmitt, The All Sports Mom
Hear Paula in her own words..
Just the other day one of my boys asked me what I wished for this Mother’s Day. I thought for a moment. Hmm, what do I wish for this Mother’s Day.?
I sat looking at my young son’s innocent face and then closed my eyes and began to drift.
I instantly found myself back in time 35 years ago when I was five years old. It was then that I heard a voice; sweet and soft calling my name. I turned to the sound and there she was; my mother and she was outside on a beautiful sunny day trimming a fragrant Gardenia bush with a little girl at her side. I remember my mother’s Gardenias and how the sweet scent filled our home. What a pair we were, my mother and I! Inseparable, like two turtle doves. This is just one of the things I wish for this Mother’s Day – to go back in time and relive my younger days with my mother all over again in just one special day.
I blink and drift once more. I hear the sound of an infant cooing. I see baby blue walls and a stuffed cuddly blue bear sitting in a rocking chair. That is when I see her; a young mother nursing her baby boy, looking down at him, holding him close and never taking her eyes off him. I remember this day as a first time mother and the love I felt for my child. I would do anything for him, even if it meant staying up all night to comfort him when he was teething or ill. My child was a part of me and a gift from God above. Another wonderful gift for Mother’s Day – to spend time watching my children growing up again in just one special day and holding on tight to those memories.
Again I am slowly drifting. Suddenly, I hear my daughter’s voice asking me to hold out my arms. I feel a small, warm baby and I pull it up against my body. My daughter is smiling at me and caressing the baby’s cheek. She has become a mother and I a grandmother. I am looking into my future. What a special gift for this special day.
“Mom?” my son whispers as he taps my hand.
I open my eyes and look at my young son’s innocent face. I smile and tell him just what he has been waiting to hear.
“This is my wish for Mother’s Day. To be a mother for my five children and to always have the special memories that I hold deep within my heart.”
Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Mommy guilt. We’ve all felt it. Working moms feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children. Stay-at-home moms feel guilty for not contributing to the household income. As a matter of fact, I’m feeling a little guilty right now as my son sits in the living room watching a Baby Einstein video as I write this. We, as women, are programmed to nurture others and to feel the need to do it all. It’s wonderful to be nurturing and caring, but we must be realistic in our own expectations in order to be at peace with ourselves as mothers.
Oprah’s often been heard to say, “Being a mother is the hardest job in the world.” See, even she realizes it, and her only “children” are dogs! So why do we feel that we have to do the most difficult job in the world perfectly? Being a mom can be stressful and, at times, all-consuming. Sometimes we need a break!
It’s okay to not absolutely LOVE every part of being a mom. We’re human. Cut yourself some slack if your kids’ constant fighting is driving you crazy and you want to scream. It’s natural to feel frazzled. When you start to feel the guilt rising, remind yourself to let it go. Then you can focus on redirecting the kids and sneaking off with a cup of coffee and a magazine for a few minutes.
Yes, it’s even all right to enjoy spending time AWAY from your kids. Time on your own lets you to come back to your children refreshed and rejuvenated, allowing you to be more loving. Cranky, stress-out moms are not performing at their peak. Don’t hesitate to give yourself a little break once in a while. In fact, it’s good for kids to spend some alone time to learn and to grow.
Realize that nobody’s perfect and avoid comparisons. We’re often prone to thinking others have things so much better than we do. Outside appearances can often be deceiving. Accept yourself and your family’s situation with a sense of gratitude, and soon you’ll be feeling less guilt and getting far more enjoyment out of life.
It’s so important to practice letting go of the guilt. It won’t happen overnight, but if you remember to stop yourself when you feel those mean guilty feelings coming on, you’ll soon learn to think differently. Changing your thoughts will lead to improving the way you feel about yourself. A mom who feels good about herself is always a better mom. By the way, my little guy’s still watching Baby Einstein. And he’s squealing with delight at the colorful, spinning top he sees. Why should I feel guilty about that?