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Fool for Love or a Doomat?
Love and Trust in a Relationship
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When Someone You Love is Depressed
Christian with Cold Feet
Sex Starved Woman
My husband has a big boob
fetish - is breast augmentation an option?
Musings on Sex - when he wants
sex and she wants to connect.
Regain Intimacy in Betsy's Intimacy Challenge
do when your Husband gives you a Terrible Anniversary Gift?
Save My Family
How to Stop Bullies
What to do when your mother is not respecting your parenting
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Find Romance Again
Romance Your Husband
Fool for Love in a Relationship
Fool for Love, or Doormat?
by Betsy Sansby, MS, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
My boyfriend and i met a year and a half year ago and i fell for him straight
away. He was everything i find attractive in a guy. We got engaged after a
month and i thought i had it all. One night we were arguing in his car and i
asked him to take me home. Instead he turned into some woods. I tried getting
out but he hit me 3 times over head then he stopped and pulled me out of the
car and forced me into sex on his bonnet. This was a complete shock as he was
never violent before. He dropped me home then rang me up crying. I believed he
was sorry but couldnt stay with him after that.
A year later he was trying to win me back. I gave him a chance and he proved
how much he loved me. We rented a house and after 2 days i caught him talking
on the phone to a married woman. He denied everything and threw me out of the
house. I asked why he left me for her and he really doesn’t know. He just said
he felt safer with her cause she was not as attractive as me. This weekend he
came to my brothers 3 times begging 4 me 2 take him back. He wants to prove
this time that he wont hurt me again.
I know this sounds mad but i believe him but i cant take any more pain from
him. If i wasnt so happy before these events i would let go, but no-one else
makes me that happy at all and i see a really great husband underneath it all.
Am i just a silly cow or what? Please tell me what u think.
Fool for Love
My dear young friend,
Moo. Yes, I believe you are a “silly cow” for even thinking about taking this
dreadful man back If you have any shred of self-respect left you will run like
hell while there’s still hope for you. And you’ll find a good female therapist
who can help you reclaim your dignity. No matter how charming this guy is when
he’s trying to win you back, anyone looking at the facts will remind of what
you already know! The man you think would make a “great husband” has already
hit you, raped you, cheated on you, and lied to you over and over again.
Good gracious! What else must a person do before you say: ENOUGH!? I will
leave you with these words: You will never ever change such a man. But if you
stay with such a man he will change you. If you go back to him, your life will
be utter hell.
Good luck. If you’re smart, you won’t need it.
Betsy Sansby is a licensed marriage & family therapist, and
published author whose private practice is in Minnetonka, Minnesota. She is
the coauthor of seven books, and the creator of ingenious communication
tools for couples and families called, including: The STOP Strategy, The Art
of Conversation, and The OuchKit: A First-Aid Kit for Your Relationship. She
also has her own relationship advice column called, "Ask Betsy." To download
free tools, submit a question to her column, or contact Betsy for an on-line
consultation, go to: www.theouchkit.com
. Or send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
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